[Archive] Blood in da Mud

Admiral:

Blood in da Mud

Hah!

Blood in da mud,

an’ gutz in da hutz!

Won’t work an’ go nutz,

zo bunk while ya kan!

Skull on da hull,

an’ gland in da hand!

Won’t spare da hot brand,

zo burn while ya kan!

Fart on da heart,

an’ stung in da lung!

Won’t tell mah knife flung,

zo stab while ya kan!

Kill on da hill,

an’ gore on da shore!

Won’t miss any store,

zo loot while ya kan!

Leg in da keg,

an’ arm from da farm!

Won’t hear any harm,

zo maim while ya kan!

Ahahahahaha!

- Hobgoblin loot song

Abecedar:

Talking Gobbo is fun but hard.   Too much of it does my head in.
Some stanzas you’ve had to work in a word/phrase “in the clear” so to speak amongst the slurred slank so it rhymes and tends to detract somewhat
I have no ideas to help though

Admiral:

Yes, this is a stilted piece. I tried to get it less clunky, but could not advance past this stage. Someone on Warseer thought it was catchy, however, so it wasn’t all wasted efforts. :wink:

If someone have advice for improving pieces like this, shout out! It will always be appreciated.