[Archive] Care and Feeding of Your Petrified Sorceror

X-Porter:

Yes I know. “The roads to Zharr-Naggrund are lined with the petrified remains of Chaos Dwarf sorcerors” and all. But, let’s face it, it’s been done. To death.

Really, When Uncle Gharrzag finally rocks it for the last time, should he be condemned to eternity as a stop sign? Is this really the final resting place you would choose for the one who taught you to flog your first Hobgoblin? Who gave you a Whirlwind for your 8th birthday? I think not.

It’s time for these venerable members of Dawi Zharr society to reclaim their rightful place in our community. So let’s hear some ideas.

Door stop?

Lamp?

End table?

Chia Pet?

Remember, If your family won’t look after you when you’re stoned, who will?

Kera foehunter:

They make great boat anchor:o and they love playing card with Davy Jones:

Willmark:

LMAO Kera

WarplockMonkey:

I’m sure that the young apprentaces will love to take the petrified statue of thier old master back to thier quarters, throw bits of paper at it, draw humerous things on it like a pair of glasses, a bra or even a phalus on the head, whats better then defiling a hated teacher’s photo? Defiling the teacher himself!

Xander:

When I read the topic title I was imagining the Sorcerer Was petrified up to his neck. Haha, so they have to still feed him, because he can’t feed himself. Do they have to wash his face and hair and beard? And if they displease him, does he use his mind to cast spells on them? Haha.

Narflung:

Each sorcerer faculty has their own petrified old guy, come time for a frat party, they have a interesting bottle opener to say the least

Willmark:

Chia Pet? best use thus far.

X-Porter:

When I read the topic title I was imagining the Sorcerer Was petrified up to his neck. Haha, so they have to still feed him, because he can't feed himself.  Do they have to wash his face and hair and beard?  And if they displease him, does he use his mind to cast spells on them? Haha.
"YOU THERE!   APPRENTICE.   COME FORWARD"

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"
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"M-me Sir? Urza..."

"YOUR NAME MATTERS NOT!!  I, GORZAKARR,  SCOURGE OF THE DARKLANDS, DESPOILER OF AMON DAL AND BINDER OF THE FIEND OF KHERZULL DO COMMAND YOU..."

"SCRATCH MY NOSE."
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"M-m-master...?"

"SCRATCH IT!!!"[/font][/i][/b]

Kera foehunter:

The sorceror said: Davy Jone you have any threes .Davy Jones looks hard and Say why no i don’t go fish .

AGPO:

I had a thought for a petrified exalted sorcerer on a floating palaquin (lamassu) with guards in a kind of a Lord Kroak style model

metro_gnome:

characters on flying mounts may not join units…

Pyro Stick:

It could be used as a hat stand i suppose. Or a scary garden gnome

AGPO:

characters on flying mounts may not join units...

metro_gnome
I meant two guards on the palaquin, a bit like a floating anvil of doom (which it could also count as)

Grimstonefire:

Something to scare off pigeons could be funny…

A pigeon flies around for a while, eventually daring to land on the Sorcerer’s head.  After a while another joins him, then another.  Soon the statue is covered in pigeons, messing all over it.

Suddenly the skies darken, a feeling of pressure builds in the air and then…  BOOM!  The pigeons all explode!

(slave for X-porter)

AGPO:

How about a chav deterant like those carboard policemen they have in shop windows now. Yes foreigners I kid you not, we in the UK now use Cinema-style cut outs to prevent crime in our streets

Hashut’s Blessing:

When did we start we cut-out police to deter chavs? Like it would work anyway :smiley:

How about, a paper weight?

A pet rock?

A garden fountain?

Battering ram?

Watch tower? (Leave his hat on :wink: He’ll call you mentally AND zap the enemies a bit, whilst being manned :smiley: )

Break him for some scenic gravel?

A manaquin?

A giant in board games?

A speed bump?

The list goes on :smiley:

wallacer:

The best use for a petrified Chaos Dwarf Sorceror is as a hood ornament on a hot rod.

Yes, that’s right, Chaos Dwarf engineers build hot rods. Don’t look so shocked.

furrie:

they do drag races to, so I’m not shocked :smiley:

51la5:

Snowboard a scarecrow to deal with thieving gnoblars even a model for the your latest cloths line.

Uzkul Werit:

You could break him up and use him as bricks to bulid a brand new Temple to Hashut.