[Archive] Chaos Dwarf Cuisine

AGPO:

NO VEGES!! they dont grow to well in volcanic regions.

the slaver
WHAT!?!? Part of the reason people in the real world run the risk of living near volcanoes is that the soil is so fertile. I suspect the sorcerers and lords of the chaos dwarfs would have slaves to grow their food, more favoured slaves to prepare it and considerably less favoured ones to taste it (poisoning being an excepted form of political intregue in Zharr Naggrund). If you are looking for inspiration, try looking at Persian food, seeing as this is the culture the Dawi'zharr are - very loosely - based on. You could also add a very rare joint of meat and try to convince your friends it is goblin. I think Dawi'zharr would prefer blue red meat (if that makes sense) rather than cooked to cinders. Besides, the image of blood dribbling down tusks seems to suit. Good luck, its good to know that someone else shares two of my favorite hobbies: Food and Warhammer

Ishkur Cinderhat:

I was also under the impression that volcanic soil is quite fertile. The pollution caused by the Chaos Dwarfs relentless industrialisation might however even have the more considerable impact on the lands surrounding the ziggurat.

Persian food, now that’s a good idea! I’m quite curious if there is any source material out there on what the people in Persia actually ate some 3000 years ago…

Sobek:

Keep in mind the darklands are not made of volcanic soil, but consist of highly toxic and polluted water and soil as a result of the the heavy industry and deforestation of the CD and the high ammounts of warpstone. This also isn’t you regular situation were a volcano erupts, then you start growing things. This is a constant emission of pollution and poison.

The Slaver:

ok, well, not to be gross or anything, but the Chaos Dwarfs are canabalistic… i heard somewhere (probably urban legend but who knows!) that a tiny little company prduced tofu thats was flesh flavored. bleh! disgusting but certainly characterful!

PS: the Slaver does not condone the eating, or serving of any person. persons who blame the slaver for such action will be persicuted to the full extent of the law, and asked to seek proffesional help. They will also recieve a small amount of respect for having the pure lunacy and fortitude to do such a thing, and then promptly shipped off to the slammer

Snotling:

poisoning being an excepted form of political intregue in Zharr Naggrund

AGPO
no, there is no intregue in Zharr Naggrund! it's one reason why i love the Dawi Zharr so much, they respect each other, there is no real Hierarchy, Zharr Naggrund has no King and the CD no absolut leader. they only reaspect older one more, because they are whiser and experienced than the other. that's all ^^

to topic: hehe, i allready thought about the food of CDs, too ^^. but it is not easy to find out something about a race what doesn't happen to do anything with war :~... how do a house of Skink look like? do Dark Elves marry? how does a baby orc look like?
maybe there is some water next to the mountains of mourn, but as told, the pollution might made it quite toxic. if there are plants or mushrooms, they are mutated. maybe the CDs brew beer from mushrooms.
i also thaught about animals of the plains of zharr (at HoH, but the threat was deleted... don't know, why :h). it think they have some kind of cows or something... maybe a predator mixture of pig and cow... with six legs, yeah ^^

Uzkul Werit:

Perhaps Chaos Dwarfs wouldn’t eat cow at all. Seeing as Hashut is a bull god, they might reguard eating them as heresy.

Khan!:

Ishkur, you should try getting a Syrian cookbook, and see if anything strikes your fancy in there. Or even better if you can find a Syrian or Iranian restaurant that would be cool too. Heck, just go for shawarma!

As for what Chaos Dwarfs would eat, I assume that since they are still dwarfs they would enjoy some kind of mead or ale. I envision a sorcerer wearing a malignant BEER HAT, powered by the wailing souls of a thousand tortured slaves, with the putrescent liquid gushing into his slavering maw like the spasmodic pumping of an arterial wound, as he prepares a falafel bound and chained in a smoking daemonic harness.

Hashut’s Blessing:

I know that they wouldn’t eat REAL beef, but it’s the closest substitute to the sorts of meat-types that they would eat. The reddest of all meats, really…

Snotling:

Perhaps Chaos Dwarfs wouldn't eat cow at all.

Uzkul Werit
yes, no cows, cows are stupid (and Hashut is a BULL, no cow! :hashut... hehe ^^) and too realistic for a fantasy ash desert... only humans have cows ^^. but, i meant that typ of animal, a huge one, with much meat on his tasty body and... with something to drink in it and usefull skin to make clothes, you know. but much more evil as a cow :hashut

torn:

maybes like a big hairy black highland cow

wallacer:

Is there any particular reason why Chaos Dwarfs wouldn’t practice cannibalism?

cornixt:

Holy animals are often eaten by cultures that revere them. Usually the priests would get all the best bits, regular folks get the rest, and people considered unholy wouldn’t be allowed it at all.

The Slaver:

@ wallacer: I think that they do! There was a short bit of fluff in i think WD 300, where a merchant talks about the chaos dwarfs and “skin-eating” or some sutibally disturbing adjective. I think it makes the chaos dawrfs much much more evil…

wallacer:

I think it makes the chaos dawrfs much much more evil....

The Slaver
Or possibly just desperately hungry :cheers

torn:

i dont think they would be cannibals, i.e. eat other chaos dwarfs, simply because they are a small race. Its quite feasable that they will eat other humanoids, like humans, greenskins, regular dwarfs, and those oh so tasty elves . . .

Ishkur Cinderhat:

I really can’t imagine the Chaos Dwarfs as being cannibalistic either… there are just too few of them, and reducing their dwindling numbers even more by eating each other just doesn’t seem to be the best idea…

There is no reason why they couldn’t eat some of their prisoners, though (elf flesh sashimi on ice being a special delicacy ;)) and have some deep fried gnoblar feet instead of French Fries. :cheers

Of course they might as well send hunting expeditions to the Mountains of Mourn regularly, to hunt Rhinoxen and return tons of pickled meat to Zharr Naggrund.

AGPO:

Not much meat on an elf, Bretonians make thebest eating, unless you object to canned food…

Traitor King:

Touche AGPO!

Maybe they would eat msuhrooms as well, as these would grow. Im also against the whole fertile land around volcano argument. they dont live by a volcano, they live in a volcanic wasteland where nothing would realy grow (well, thats how i see it).

ANd I doubt they would be into cannablism, due to dwindling numbers. Eating slaves, yes. Each other? No.

torn:

‘revenge is a dish best served all you can eat’ Revered Lord Grundhak The Mad in his famous speech before the battle of the flayed rock in which four thousand oath-breaking elves were taken prisoner and roasted inside a giant statue of Hashut and served as a reward for the victories hordes.

Uzkul Werit:

Naturally. The Flayed Rock Bunch were always a little backward. laughs

A litle cannabalism never hurt anyone. What about eating greenskin slaves? The only one I don’t see being eaten is the Gnoblar as they have very little real meat on them.