[Archive] H: mad writing skillz W: anything you'll give me for them

Thommy H:

With apologies in advance to Lord Marcus for muscling in on his turf…

Did you ever want a piece of writing for your website, blog, army showcase, etc. but couldn’t be bothered to do it yourself, didn’t trust your own abilities or didn’t have the cash to hire an actual professional to do it? Then your meagre prayers are answered!

Seriously though. Since I saw this seemed to work for Lord Marcus, I wondered if I could make some money/get some toys by doing essentially the same thing. Most of you around here will have read something I’ve written, but in case you haven’t and want some samples:

  • I’ve had pieces featured in most issues of The Word of Hashut, which seem to have been well received by those who’ve commented.

  • I won Gold in the 5th Artisan’s Contest which was obviously a short story competition.

  • I wrote my own Armies book: Warhammer Armies: Chaos Dwarfs which is a 100ish page document filled with exactly as much background as you’d get in a real Games Workshop publication. Feedback indicates that it’s of comparable quality too!

You can also take a look at this website which is where I played a collaborative/competitive writing game for a number of years (it’s kind of petered out now, but there is the occasional post). Anything written by “Thommy H” is me. I’m afraid it won’t make much sense unless you read from the start (and believe me, you don’t want to put in that amount of time…) but it should give you an idea of my range, if you like. Another website I did a lot of writing on has now been lost to the mists of time, I’m afraid, which is a shame because I did a lot of comedy writing there. The stuff on this site is mostly apocalyptic urban fantasy.

The point is, I can do stuff besides write background for your Warhammer army. I consider myself a real writer (just gotta finish that novel…) and if you have some writing that needs doing, I’m 99% certain I can rise to the challenge. I can do plenty of genres, plenty of styles, as literate or lowbrow as you like. I would prefer to talk any commission over with customers and collaborate as much as possible, but if you want to just chuck names and basic concept at me and let me riff, I can do that too.

One thing: I won’t do anything too distasteful. Nothing racist, homophobic or misogynistic. I’m not comfortable writing anything involving rape, even comedic rape. I will talk these limits over if you think including any of these themes is vital to the piece, but obviously I reserve the right to back out if I find it offensive.


I’ll take cash, and also payments in models if they’re things I want. I collect Bretonnians, Warriors of Chaos, Chaos Dwarfs, Space Marines (Dark Angels) and Vampire Counts. My armies tend to contain a lot of unusual figures though, so I’m open to negotiation if you have something you want to part with.

Basic rate is £2.50 per 1,000 words. I price in words because if the piece contains a lot of dialogue then you might not get much content per “page”. This will get you something like you’d read in The Word of Hashut; decent, but not hugely flashy. For the kind of content you may have read on TX, I might charge maybe 50% more because that requires more creative investment and would also involve a bit more collaboration from the customer.

I’ll happily provide a free sample passage of 250 words or so from your commission if you want to make sure I can give you what you want, but I won’t commit to the actual writing until I have at least a deposit, unless it’s something I can use elsewhere!

I’ve got no problem negotiating mate’s rates for any of my friends here, btw :wink:

(Also, Willmark, this doesn’t mean I’m going to start charging you for WoH articles).

This might get no interest at all, but I figure it’s worth a shot!

lord marcus:

eh, you punched me, but i’m not down. Just don’t go on my thread and try to steal my customers and we can be competitive friends, k?

Thommy H:

I had no intention of doing so - I just saw it was working for you and thought I’d see if it could work for me too.