[Archive] oh so loanly

asheira:

unfortunately for me, yet VERY fortunate for the girls at my school and in my neiborhood my fiancee left me

Xander:

:S

That sucks dude. Best of luck to you. o_o

Vexxus:

Sorry to hear that friend.

I am a glass half full kind of guy, and thus I submit to you that this will give you more time to perfect your CD army!

…ok small consolation but I tried.

Vex

asheira:

@ vex

good point

plus there has been a problem in the relationship, i have started developing feelings toward a girl at my school (my ex-fiancee goes to my old school)

so now i could try to focus on that (after a while, first i’m gonna spend a little while by myself)

Sojourn:

awww, ash, sorry to hear it. but you’re young buddy! and it’s better it happened now rather than later after you two committed in front of lots of family and friends after spending lots of money.

you’ll pull through :slight_smile: there is an advantage to having a couple girls (literally) on the site. I can offer the “female shoulder” like I would for any friend :slight_smile:

asheira:

it’s been a couple days since we broke up, but i didn’t post at the time because i was still upset (well i’m still upset but less upset now)

and thanks everyone for your support, glad to know that even in an evil chaos comunity, the people are still kind to their friends

Kera foehunter:

well ash give it time let your head clear. Then you have the choice to go on .

The way i see it . its time for you to do some of the things you been putting off .

Go hang out with your buddies they will help you pull thew.

Willmark:

Take this from someone who has been there (and not to mitigate what you are going through now or to belittle it). You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Thou it seems hard now, this will pass, they always do. High School relationships are still (usually) still not adult ones, they are more transitional then anything. Not a kid crush, but not quite adult yet either.

Thats why often in later years we tend to idealize them or look back fondly on them because they seem so uncomplicated or “perfect” with the benefits of hindsight. Except they aren’t. Most likely these relationships never have to weather the adult problems of a mortgage, sickness, kids, car payments , living together etc… its complex, its the human condition.

So what I’m trying to say is use them (it) as a learning experience, they get a whole 'nother level of complex as you get older… trust me.

Grish:

Yeah. Look when you’re more settled down. When you know what you want to do, where you’re going to live.

Difficult otherwise…

torn:

plus we have all seen road trip - you dont want to be stuck with someone and then end up going to universities 500 miles apart.

willmark - ive been with my fiancee over 4 years now and im still not quite sure its a proper adult relationship . . . . we cant even argue properly lol

asheira:

honistly i doubt that proper adult relationships even exist anymore

Willmark:

Torn and Ash-

Its difficult to explain. To often people are confused by their roles in a relationship and unsure of just how to be. The key is understanding that. To be honest I believe that women my age and younger are the ones most confused rather then guys.

There are too many competing views as to what a woman should be of how they should be in terms of a relationship. Society tells women they can do anything they want, and why shouldn’t they. But this comes at a price. Looking at the women of the baby boomer generation thye were told they could have it all, a family and career and struggled to do both or ended up divorced and alone. Ive seen it play out were I work for years.

The Gen Xers (my generation) has seen this and aren’t too keen on following in their footsteps. Is this the only answer, only reason? No, but this is a complex question

I don’t think it really affects men as much. Were Neanderthals. We have basic drives: food, sex, sleep, sports and not necessarily in that order.

I don’t envy women of today, its a hard world and a confusing one, I shudder to think how rough of a time my daughter will have.

asheira:

i guess i’m diffrent then, my drizes are food, sleep, sex, videogames, and above all else starwars.

Obsidian:

Sorry to hear mate but Willmark is on the right path, agree with all of it.

Proper relations do still exist, atleast I hope so as I’m getting married at the end of this year! :stuck_out_tongue:

Sojourn:

well Ash, that’s one thing to reflect on… I know it’s important to have hobbies etc, but you’re so young! I can’t re-iterate it enough. enjoy being young.

with Xander and I, we were friends in high school, but didn’t date back then. He went to a uni a gazillion km’s away from home and I went to a uni 1/2 a gazillion km’s away from home. When we started dated in 2nd year, it was tough because we were far apart. But had we dated out of high school, who knows where we would’ve ended up, but it may not have been the best decision for either of us. You wouldn’t have wanted to feel restricted in post-secondary options because of your fiancee, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to restrict HER options either.

I believe things happen for a reason and it will unfold. in the meantime, enjoy single life (somewhat responsibly!)

@ Willmark: I agree. I struggle with the thoughts of my future. I worked hard through school, I’m going for my accounting designation. by the time I want child(ren) I will hopefully have climbed the corporate ladder to a reasonably successful height. It’s hard to say for sure that I will be comfortable with maternity leave of 1 year. I want to raise my child, but I don’t want to turn my back on something I worked so hard for.

and let’s not forget that men and women are just plain ol’ different. Xander is more an expert on this than I am, but communication and acceptance is hard.

moral of the story: ENJOY BEING SINGLE! :slight_smile:

cornixt:

Getting engaged in high school just seems to be a strange concept to me. I was a drastically different person between 14 and 18, even more between 18 and 22. I was the first of my group to get married at 22, two of my friends got married after and there marriages are already over while mine is still going strong. Another has been with his girlfriend since I met my wife and they are still in a strong relationship (getting married this year). Everyone is different.

Being lonely just because you don’t have a girlfriend is something to be wary of since you might fall for the next person you go out with, even if you are poorly matched. One of the broken marriages I mentioned before was the result of a rebound after a failed relationship. Go for a boys night out and take things slowly.

Xander:

Some sound advise in this thread. Focus on yourself now. Kick some ass, excell at what you do, and the women will be drawn to you naturally. :wink:

torn:

willmark i know what your saying, its very difficult.

i run my own business, and my fiancée manages a business, ad we both work between usually 50-80 ours a week each. neither of us can afford to not work, although ill admit we are comfortable at the moment we arent exactly rich. i have absolutely no idea how we are going to be able to bring up kids, unless you want to do it for us :stuck_out_tongue:

still at 18 i wouldnt worry about these sort of things, id just enjoy what ive got instead of worrying about what i havent.

Kera foehunter:

ash i support you on your new journey.So go on and live your life to the fullest.

Narflung:

Just don’t do what I did and get mega drunk all the time after. Theres nothing to gain from that. Take the opportunity to hang with your mates.