[Archive] will trade my 6 year old for bighats

JonJon:

Hi

I am the proud parent of 2 children one boy and one girl,and since Im a fool 7 years ago I agreed with my wife that we did not want are children raised by strangers in childcare so we would change are work around where one of us would always be home with the kids. I work nights and my wife works days and this has worked out pretty good for the first 3 years. I would work midnight  to eight in the morning at the prison and I would come home put on the  apron make breakfast ,change diapers and COOKIES I could make them and  sing manly songs to my boy. All was well I got so good at this  I could even paint miniatures.

STRONGE AND MIGHTY WAS I !  Then I decided my boy needs a sibling and I  told my wife (WOMAN …bring forth another child and a girlchild sprung forth from her loins) and now 3 years later the girl is very pretty and sweet except for the bad habit of chasing the cats with a wooden spoon and her inability to potty train not a problem. Now my boy is 6 very bright, good in school loves his motherand pretty good at sports things are going well.

I recently bought an Ipad downloaded Angrybirds and Spiderman for him to play and explained to him there would be no more games this month,that he would have to earn more games thru chores and good grades.That was 2 weeks ago.

Well both of my children woke up with a nasty cough this morning ,so i decided to let him stay home from school,since he has spring holiday starting friday I didnt see the harm. So I gave him the Ipad and started breakfast then feed them,all was well .

I picked up the Ipad its in Japenees or Chinees and the keyboard has been reconfigured so I cant even type,I havent had more than 4 hours sleep a night in 7 years and Ive lost the ability to spell, I just grounded my boy from the computer and Ipad and TV till the END OF TIME. I am now googling how to fix my ipad the house smells like diapers and … Please someone take these children from me.

Jon

Taurian:

Hmmm, couple questions:

1) Is he strong?

2) Can he swing an axe?

Firewood ain’t cheap anymore unless you cut yer own…

JK, obviously

stephanavich:

Press the little icon that looks like a globe next to the space bar until english letters appear :wink:

JonJon:

im sure he can learn to chop wood and i will ship him next day

Blue in VT:

I feel your pain brother! its the lack of sleep that is slowly killing me…why the F*&% do kids get up so damn early! and throughout the night?!

I had a similiar situation with my iPhone…my 18 month old got ahold of it and deleted several apps and hid other ones in folders where they didn’t belong. Of course that shoes you just how intuitive the iphone is…even my little dude can figure out how to manipulate it…he just doesn’t do it right yet!

Good luck with your trade…I aint biting! my plate is full enough already!

cheers,

Blue

Thommy H:

Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of the awesome time I’m having drinking beer and not having kids.

JonJon:

Thommy we dont mind that you get to have all the fun playing games drinking beer and being free, BUT ITS WRONG TO RUB IT IN!

furrie:

Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of the awesome time I'm having drinking beer and not having kids.

Thommy H
This made my day :P

JonJon:

. this is why I do it

JonJon:

this too

Thommy H:

See, from that photo alone, I could have told you not to lend him your iPad.

cornixt:

Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of the awesome time I'm having drinking beer and not having kids.

Thommy H
You just sealed your fate with that comment. I'll be saying congratulations to you and your wife in 9 months.

JonJon:

I didnt say I was smart Thommy,All 3 of them are smarter than me, I rule by strength alone and that is fadeing

Thommy H:

You just sealed your fate with that comment. I'll be saying congratulations to you and your wife in 9 months.

cornixt
I assure you, she is very much in agreement with me :cheers:cheers <-- us

JonJon:

good luck with that,your doomed

vulcanologist:

Jon Jon I feel your pain! Very similar situation to you. I work long 15 hour night shifts and come home to grab a few hours sleep before returning to the grindstone and the little bit of time I do have I have to spend with the kids! I’ve got a 17 year old son and was just getting my life back but now I’ve got a 4 year old daughter and a 16month old nightmare too!

@ thommy…curse you! But your time will come then all us fathers will have our revenge!!

cornixt:

You just sealed your fate with that comment. I'll be saying congratulations to you and your wife in 9 months.

cornixt
I assure you, she is very much in agreement with me :cheers:cheers <-- us


Thommy H
You seem to think you have a choice! Contraception will secretly fail, and the next thing you know she'll be saying "You know how you like playing with little humanoids..."

Thommy H:

It’s nice that you think my wife is so devious and malevolent that she’d actually plot to have me father a child against my will, but we really are of one mind on this issue. We’re very similar people - a thought that I assume fills you all with terror.

vulcanologist:

Accidents happen!

This message was automatically appended because it was too short.

JonJon:

It's nice that you think my wife is so devious and malevolent that she'd actually plot to have me father a child against my will, but we really are of one mind on this issue. We're very similar people - a thought that I assume fills you all with terror.

Thommy H
Yes and yes