So let’s meet our first protagonist - Colonel Diddik von Biern!
The Von Biern Dragoon Regiment
Driven to financial ruin by the loss of his slave-operated brewery in an embarrassingly small-scale revolt, former businessdwarf Diddik von Biern cashed in his last remaining favours among Stoutgart’s high society to obtain an officer’s commission in the army. Many were in fact relieved to see him change profession, his beer having generally been considered outrageous even by Stoutgartian standards. As an officer, Diddik could at least hope to retain his societal status as a gentledwarf; and considering that politics had been comparatively quiet in recent months, he was looking forward to receiving his pay while running only a small risk of seeing action. When the Monich Bier War erupted, his superiors were still much inclined to grant him that wish – mostly putting him on garrison duty in unimportant villages, preferably a long way from the rest of the army, where, so their reasoning, he could do no damage. But in the event, this sort of task served to bring out the very worst in Diddik’s already bad character, and the former slave owner proved to be exceptionally efficient in the handling of civilians and the troubles they occasionally cause.
Pleasantly surprised, Stoutgartian High Command decided to make the most of his obvious talents and tasked him with organising a new special force designed “to facilitate cooperation between the civilian population and our armed forces by such means as are deemed appropriate”. Diddik stipulated that a regiment of dragoons would be best suited to this task. High Command agreed – nothing but a regiment of dragoons would do, obviously, it stood to reason – but very regretfully added that with the price of war-pigs being what it was, the military budget did not allow for a new cavalry unit; and Stoutgart being only a moderately sized city-state with not much to go around in terms of manpower, the designation as “regiment” would have to be purely honorific, too.
Consequently, the Von Biern Dragoon Regiment is in fact a rather small body of infantry, and not one with a dashing appearance either – Diddik’s stubborn insistence on a custom variant of the standard Raupenhelm, featuring a skull badge for increased intimidation value, unfortunately did not leave much of a budget for the rest of the regiment’s uniform. Of course, any allegations that the Von Biern Dragoons are actually clad in “cheap raincoats with shoulder straps sewn on” are nothing but vicious slander. In any case, the zeal these soldiers display in carrying out their duties does make up for their lack in mounts, numbers and uniformity: Under their Colonel’s ruthless command, they variously act as garrisons, pressgangs, tax collectors, or simply a means of punishment for troublesome settlements. Diddik boasts that he has never yet failed to collect Stoutgart’s due – and some little extra for himself, of course.
To be continued.