Admiral:
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Halfling Adventurer of Ancient Times.
Bubby “Gutso” Lardbairn had always been a good shot. And a hearty eater, by all accounts. And so his belly hadn’t sunk thin when he got wandering feet and started trekking all across the wide, weird lands out there beyond his lush little home.
No, instead his rotund body had swelled further still, for Bubby had mastered the art of foraging and cooking while roughing it in the wilds. It had started modestly, with some eggs stolen from nests here, and some small animals poached there. At first it had taken effort and concentration, but after a while Bubby “Gutso” found that he had a true knack for this kind of thing. And so his stubby limbs went through the motions without thinking about it: Spotting and sneaking and stalking. Climbing and reaching and grabbing. Flinging and flaying and flensing. Bundling and binding and bagging.
And above all, eating all the time.
There were meals, of course. Many meals in a short day. A decent fellow couldn’t miss out on a meal now, could he? And then there were those belly rumblings in between meals, so there had to be snacks as well. Rumour had it that the ravenous Halfling had pushed more than one company of fellow travellers to starvation as their provisions vanished down his gullet. Indeed, nasty rumours even claimed that some of jolly Bubby’s companions had disappeared down his little cooking pot…
Yet he couldn’t care less about the waggling tongues of others. Not when his own was about to taste a ripe peach! And apparently also a fowl soon enough, for his eyes detected the bird and his slinging arm went into a spin all of its own while he licked the stolen fruit. For Bubby “Gutso” Lardbairn had mastered the art of eating and hunting at the same time, and he couldn’t enjoy life more than he already did on this sunny day!
