Scion:
Hello All,
This is the newest version of my army book, not reviewed or edited for 8th edition however (though I do plan to, when I can afford the new book). If possible I’d like people to give some suggested idea’s / edits and general thoughts for the book so far. As well as this could people give me some point value idea’s as I’ve never done those! Please tell me what you think of the fluff as I tried to get that done well.
Without further ado.
nitroglysarine:
Page 39, image of dwarf is missing a few lines in the middle - could be my reader (only an aesthetic issue)
Thommy H:
First things first: spellcheck. It’s really hard to judge something objectively when it contains a lot of spelling errors. I’m immediately taken out of the flow of a piece of writing if there’s a very obvious spelling mistake right in the middle. So just go back to your Word document and switch on spellcheck. It’s tempting to turn it off because it underlines “Hashut” and things but, trust me, it’s there for a reason.
Fallen246:
Too many special rules IMHO, that and giving Hobgoblin Khan’s the general rule for each one of them is kind of unfair, regardless of it’s value.
nitroglysarine:
Spelling - get it proof read
Rules - keep them low and simple.
Thommy H:
Scion, if you want my advice, I think you need to take things one step at a time: when I started writing my book, I began with just the army list and the special rules. Get those figured out and you can do all the background, the formatting and the presentation afterwards. There’s no point writing two pages of background for a unit that then has to be significantly changed or even taken out altogether because of its rules. Start small and work your way up.
Scion:
Thanks for the replies guys, I’ll find some time to do some proofreading (although Thommy I can assure you the spell checker was on). Could anyone be more specific, like the leadership tiers - which was meant to emulate the “order of Things” in Dawi Zharr society.
@Thommy: Ahhh, there you see my problem. I really like writing fluff and playing fluffy armies, but aint so good at the rules. However I also think that units should be thoroughly based in their fluff, so writing one without the other is used to me.
Any comments apart from that?
Fequiil:
I really like writing fluff and playing fluffy armies, but aint so good at the rules.why make an armylist then?
Scion
Thommy H:
@Thommy: Ahhh, there you see my problem. I really like writing fluff and playing fluffy armies, but aint so good at the rules. However I also think that units should be thoroughly based in their fluff, so writing one without the other is used to me.I wouldn't suggest for a second that you don't write background - indeed, I firmly believe that all rules should be background-driven - but it's no good trying to show us a polished product when you don't even know how the army list works yet! You need to start with the basic framework of rules (which will be dictated by some of the background ideas you have), refine those, and then you can start writing big swathes of background text and putting in pictures and stuff.
Scion:
There might be the problem - this wasn’t mean t to be polished 
It was meant to be in the middle, getting some more ideas before continuing.
Thommy H:
So what’s with the pictures and borders and stuff? And the contents page? This is what I’m saying: there’s no point trying to figure out the structure of the actual book when you don’t even have an army list yet. We can’t give you any tips on the background and presentation besides, “use spellcheck” and “make it look nicer”, but an army list gives us something to work with.