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Joshmohr:
I made this thread for everyone to post funny quotes!
My one: "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. "
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. "
“Call it what you want. There still toy army men, and your playing with them” -warhammer 40k
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” - Homer Simpson
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Swissdictator:
“I don’t have issues, I have lifetime subscriptions”
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Fallen246:
“Look buddy, I don’t know what your problem is… But it’s probably real hard to pronounce.”
“You’re just jealous 'cause the voices only talk to me.”
Pyro Stick:
Every single line from Red vs Blue:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401747/quotes
A few examples:
[a plasma grenade exploded on Donut’s head]
Simmons: Sarge, we need to get Donut airlifted out of here.
Sarge: Could you put that in a memo and entitle it "St I Already Know"?
Church: You know, I could’ve taken that alien out if I’d hit him just a few more times.
Tucker: A few more times? How about one time!
Church: Well, I think I landed at least two or three shots.
Tucker: Yeah right.
Tex: You didn’t hit anything but the wall.
Church: How the hell would you know? You were running straight backwards
Tex: This is a long-range weapon, okay? I need distance to use it effectively.
Church: Where were you planning on shooting him from, the f***g moon? If you’d have backed up any further you’d have had to mail him the bullets!
Sarge: Ho, ho, ho… dirtbag.