[Archive] On Diet and the Infernal Guard

Admiral:

On Diet and the Infernal Guard

Betwixt the soaring World’s Edge Mountains and the titanic Mountains of Mourn lies the desolate expanses known as the Dark Lands. In these inhospitable landscapes does barbarous Greenskins, restless Undead, roaming monsters and cruel Chaos Dwarfs dwell, yet the only race capable of forging and upholding a true empire in this forsaken realm are the Dawi Zharr, who have succeeded through iron will and toil without end, as well as through ingenuity, fanatic zeal and utterly ruthless exploitation of creatures’ lives and nature itself for slaves, fuel and raw materials. These Dark Lands are hell on earth, and its inhabitants are every part its Daemons, for none of them bear kindness in their hearts.

The works and exploits of the mysterious sons of Hashut have become legendary. They are Daemonsmiths without equal, monument builders with but few peers, builders, craftsmen, torturers, slavers and warriors. Their foes and slaves alike know them for their heinous cruelty and monstrous creations, yet how is to to live your life as a Blacksmith of Chaos?

The answer may be found amidst the ranks of the shunned Infernal Guard, for here the devious character of demented Chaos Dwarf society is made manifest and clear for all to see. Where uncorrupted Dwarfs in the west primarily live by honour and loyalty through kinship and oath, Dawi Zharr are different. On the surface, their society seems to bear some of the hallmarks of that of their distant ancestors and detested cousins. Clans and stability exists in both, but the Chaos Dwarf way is ultimately one of slavish devotion to a Dark God and blind obedience to the higher castes. To them, greed and cruelty are truly virtues of strength, and the individual is fully subservient to the harsh dictates of superiors, not least the priesthood who owns their souls.

Deep shame and dishonour is a trauma in the true sense of the word for uncorrupted Dwarfs. When their world fall apart and personal honour is eroded, they seek a kind of redemption and release through becoming Slayers, death-seeking warriors shunning all armour to better meet a worthy death for themselves and honour their ancestors, clans and descendants. Chaos Dwarfs, on the other hand, are different.

Few if no outsiders know how shame and dishonour ravages the Dawi Zharr mind, yet they are never allowed to seek out death for themselves. Instead, disgraced Chaos Dwarfs are stripped of all rights and freedom and incarcerated in the infamous Infernal Guard, a heavily armoured corps of outcast warriors living only to serve their masters until death or redemption at last sets them free.

These exiled soldiers experience a life of hardship and horror at the behest of their cruel masters, starting with the act of burning a Blackshard helmet to their heads for the rest of their captivity. It is whispered the charred flesh of previous occupants still remains on their helmets’ inside and eats into the skin of the Infernal Guard. However that may be, the extent of oppression visited upon these damned souls may be gleaned through their diet.

Ordinary Dawi Zharr cuisine is a gutsy one, which often features hotly spiced root vegetables and meat at the best of times, as well as beer of high nutrition value. More common, however, are very dull dishes of slave flesh, porridge and bread made out of cereals or fungi. In all of Chaos Dwarf cooking, fresh blood, ground bone and ash are frequently sprinkled over food. These ingredients have a religious significance and are very often used in rituals. This is particularly true for ash, the remains of fire, for how could it be otherwise to worshippers of a fiery Bull God?

As in all civilizations, the food gets better the closer to the top you climb. The elite castes of Hashut’s priesthood and Overlords dines on extravagant and grotesque banquets when religious demands, studies of mysteries, warfare or engrossing inventions does not dictate otherwise. Orc roasted whole and stuffed inside flambéd Ogre swimming in a cooked broth of Fimir blood, pepper, beverage and floating Gnoblar noses are amongst the less ostentatious dishes to be expected at the dinner of the average Sorcerer-Prophet.

As for drinks, the elite castes hoards any looted foreign brews of high quality with jealousy. Prized Dwarf brews, such as Bugman’s XXXXX or Trollhead, are found amongst wines from far-away Bretonnia and sake from distant Nippon in the collections of Hashut’s chosen priesthood. Such collections of rare booty even exists in the possession of those blessed Daemonsmiths and Sorcerer-Prophets who high Hashut have blessed with the ability to draw nourishment from fire, for it is a poor Dawi Zharr leader that can’t flaunt worldly wealth.

To the Infernal Guard, the reality is all together different. They are Chaos Dwarfs of the lowest order. They are slaves, and eat like slaves. Not only that, but their stationary helmets forces them to consume any and all nourishment through awkward handling of cutlery inside the helmet or through the disgraceful means of a metal straw inserted through the bottom of their Blackshard masks. As such, their shame even extends to food intake, for they are reduced to liquid nourishment, like toddlers not yet on solids.

Many days, the Infernal Guard are sustained by rations of bouillon, nourishing beverage and fresh blood, sometimes with a hint of ash and spice. The solid food they get are of low quality yet nutrient. Occassionally they can even be subjects to rations of strange elixirs and drinks of alchemical brews handed out by their ever-experimenting masters, usually to improve their combat capabilities. Yet their punishment is such that they are frequently forced to sip liquids of the most filthy kind whenever the religious calendar, a disciplinary reprimand or the whim of some Sorcerer-Prophet calls for it. These abhorrent liquid dishes include bile, gastric acid, slave urine and squashed brains, to name but a few substances. The Dawi Zharr knows that the Father of Darkness demands this. Such a foul diet is commonly handed out to Infernal Guard units before battle, to instill a heightened willingness to lay down their lives for Mingol Zharr-Naggrund the Great, as well as a murderous mood to better slay the foe.

Truly, the lives of outcasts are one of misery and bitterness amongst the Blacksmiths of Chaos.

2 Likes

Admiral:

Based on this thread. Don’t try this at home! :wink:

Poll added. Yay or nay?

1 Like

Dînadan:

As in all civilizations, the food gets better the closer to the top you climb. The elite castes of Hashut's priesthood and Overlords dines on extravagant and grotesque banquets when religious demands, studies of mysteries, warfare or engrossing inventions does not dictate otherwise. Orc roasted whole and stuffed inside flambéd Ogre swimming in a cooked broth of Fimir blood, pepper, beverage and floating Gnoblar noses are amongst the less ostentatious dishes to be expected at the dinner of the average Sorcerer-Prophet.

Admiral
Anyone else think of a Henry VIII style cuisine when reading this? You know how he used to eat a sparrow inside a chicken inside a duck inside a goose inside a swan (or something along those lines)? Maybe on special feast days Sorcerer-Prophets dine on Snotling stuffed inside a goblin stuffed inside an Orc stuffed inside an ogre stuffed inside a giant? Lol

Admiral:

Anyone else think of a Henry VIII style cuisine when reading this?  You know how he used to eat a sparrow inside a chicken inside a duck inside a goose inside a swan (or something along those lines)?  Maybe on special feast days Sorcerer-Prophets dine on Snotling stuffed inside a goblin stuffed inside an Orc stuffed inside an ogre stuffed inside a giant? Lol

Dînadan
Haha! Perhaps with a Gnoblar between Snotling and Goblin? Symbolic of Chaos Dwarf domination over the feeble hordes, no doubt. :yar

This is the stuff of legends... I think you've just inspired a sick story, including attack of the food inside the food. Might take a long while before I have time to write it, though.

Dînadan:

Lol, I considered a Gnoblar, but thought they’d be too big to fit inside a goblin. Also considered a dragon ogre between ogre and giant, but didn’t think the ogre would fit inside one lol

cornixt:

An Ogorclin? That’s if you use the same name construction as a turducken (turkey-duck-chicken).

Admiral:

@Dînadan: You’re right. Better cut out the middle hand, eh?

@cornixt: Haha, good one. :smiley:

First post updated with mention of elixirs.

We’ve got a no vote. I understand why since this appears a bit radical. :slight_smile:

Still, when reading and voting, please bear in mind that Infernal Guard are not your average Chaos Dwarf Warriors. The Legion of Azgorh is basically a prison-soldier list of IG backed up by normal CDs manning warmachines. As such, the diet of Infernal Guard proposed here is not that of normal CD warriors.

Also, please bear in mind that the helmets of FW’s Infernal Guards have no lid at the mouth allowing intake of solid food, but it’d be possible to insert a straw up the inside of the middle ridge. See for yourselves. Since those helmets are permanently stuck on for the rest of IG service, they must logically sip their food with straws. That’s what this fluff is based on, with a pinch of grimdark.

MadHatter:

Nir-Kezhar-A-Hysh’ut,

In discussions on the matter with ambassadors from the Clans of the Dark Fortress it’s shocking news to us that the Black Fortress Infernal Guard suffers from lack of hats and I find it excessive in a Slaaneshi way to even think about having Dawi’Zharr who’s already been stripped of their pride and joy sucking on straws.

Scientifically examining Herby’s excellent emissary (in a most humane and honorable way) we of the great Gorak-Zharr Clan have concluded that the mask is open underneath (where the beard hangs down). Further my Daemonsmiths have revealed that the masks have a seam in the middle of its design, putting together two convex plates, basically if there is room for a nose the mask would allow room to shove a spoon in without to much hassle, if tilting your head backwards there would be room to drink from a flagon.

In light of this I must protest to further punishments of a degrading nature and instead recommend our old true ways of flaying and flame. Further be assured that I’m collecting the tongues that speak these ill rumors that my concern on the matter is based on some interest in the fine cuisine of our people. Preposterous!

Ever your ally,

-Klobolg Gorak-Zharr

Admiral:

Haha, we could start a protest movement against cruelty towards the Infernal Guard. Compared with lack of hats, sipping Orc **** is nothing. :wink:

Good point, MadHatter, though I still think straws would be helpful to IG considering the awkwardness of the helmet. But you’re probably right, a spoon or fork could fit in there.

MadHatter:

Haha, we could start a protest movement against cruelty towards the Infernal Guard. Compared with lack of hats, sipping Orc **** is nothing. ;)

Good point, MadHatter, though I still think straws would be helpful to IG considering the awkwardness of the helmet. But you're probably right, a spoon or fork could fit in there.

Admiral
Not saying I'm against these "milkshakes", quite the contrary! I'd just want to warn against closing possibilities :hat off

Admiral:

Not saying I'm against these "milkshakes", quite the contrary! I'd just want to warn against closing possibilities :hat off

MadHatter
That's right. I've usually aimed for quite open-ended possibilities presented in fluff writing of mine, but since this piece was based on a perhaps one-sided discussion (I contributed to the one-sidedness) it became thereafter. I'll see too update this fiction piece later on.

Edit: Okey, fluff text updated with some quick additions! Does it look better now? :)

Fuggit Khan:

Nir-Kezhar-A-Hysh'ut,

In discussions on the matter with ambassadors from the Clans of the Dark Fortress it's shocking news to us that the Black Fortress Infernal Guard suffers from lack of hats and I find it excessive in a Slaaneshi way to even think about having Dawi'Zharr who's already been stripped of their pride and joy sucking on straws.

MadHatter
Hahaha! Well said! :cheers
I'm gonna agree with MadHatter on this...

Admiral:

It’s degrading, isn’t it? :wink:

This makes me curious. I’d like to know how people envision Chaos Dwarf cuisine.

How do you imagine Chaos Dwarf food to be? This includes elite food, commoner food and food for the shamed outcast warriors of the Infernal Guard.

Dînadan:


It's degrading, isn't it? ;)

This makes me curious. I'd like to know how people envision Chaos Dwarf cuisine.

How do you imagine Chaos Dwarf food to be? This includes elite food, commoner food and food for the shamed outcast warriors of the Infernal Guard.


Admiral
Well, they're dwarfs so I imagine beer would be a widespread beverage, and if they can grow grain for beer, then that probably means they can grow it for bread aswell. Also, being dwarfs, they probably have large underground areas they can grow fungus in, so mushroom based cuisine is probably be widespread.

Considering the Chaos Dwarfs have vast amounts of slaves, then I imagine meat won't be in short supply as some of those slaves could be set aside to be fattened up rather than being put into use in the mines/workshops/etc. And even those that do do the hard labour are probably butchered on death to feed the other slaves (why waste good meat on them and it'd reduce the amount of farming the CDs need to do to provide them with adequate protein). On a similar note, when on slaving expeditions, expeditions into the wastes, etc they'd probably take too many slaves so they can be used as rations (even preserved food would only last for so long and there's no garauntee of resupply/forrage).

On the subject of meat, I imagine that some meat would be more highly prized than others; slave meat would be the least prized, if not next to worthless as anything other than field rations, hence why it'd get fed to other slaves normally. Beef would probably be the more highly prized, especially that from bulls rather than cows, and there would probably be special herds set aside and fattened up for feast/holy days. Extending this, beef from Taurii and Lamasu would probably be forbidden for all but the highest ranking Chaos Dwarfs and even then, only on feast/holy days.

The biggest problem is where such herds would be grazed, hence why in my 'Entering Zarr-Naggrund' story I decided to have vast farmland around the Tower.

Generally speaking, the lowest in society would have the plainest food - slaves would be fed on porridge made from mouldy/bad grain not fit for dwarfen consumption and stew/gruel made from the afore-mentioned slave meat and more poor quality grains and other rejected food. The poorest Dawi Zharr would probably have similar diets, albeit with better quality meat (eg not from dead slaves), grains and possibly vegetables. As their station gets higher the quality and variety would increase with a broader range of vegetables, and, by the time you get to the priesthood and wealthiest despots and overlords, even fruit. The higher-ups would probably also have their food seasoned with Indish spices while the lower members of society would make do with just salt (or nothing for slaves).

Likewise slaves would probably be given low quality beer to drink (more sanitary than water, and a degree of inhebriation probably stops them organising and uprising); the lowest dwarfs would get better beer with quality rising with importance, possibly even with a wider selection and even competing breweries. The upper levels of nobility would probably have access to beers and wines taken as spoils of war (maybe even have homegrown vintages) unless their opinion matches that of their western kin, in which case those get given to the slaves alongside the low quality stuff. The nobility may even have access to fresh water - either brought by aqueducts from the mountains or sterilised via boiling. Also (considing WH's British origins) some may even drink tea taken from Cathay.

Admiral:

Very good vista of Chaos Dwarf cuisine. :cheers

I agree completely, and I’ve always envisioned vast slave plantage farming around Zharr-Naggrund and especially along River Ruin, because food need to come from somewhere. The Dark Lands aren’t all barren, in fact volcanic soils are very fertile and even in a funky fantasy world like Warhammer one would expect there to be at least some areas covered with fertile volcanic soils, even though many neighbouring areas are poisonous, toxic or hostile to plant life in some way. And because grain farming ties in nicely with the Mesopotamian source imagery.

Dînadan:

Very good vista of Chaos Dwarf cuisine. :cheers

I agree completely, and I've always envisioned vast slave plantage farming around Zharr-Naggrund and especially along River Ruin, because food need to come from somewhere. The Dark Lands aren't all barren, in fact volcanic soils are very fertile and even in a funky fantasy world like Warhammer one would expect there to be at least some areas covered with fertile volcanic soils, even though many neighbouring areas are poisonous, toxic or hostile to plant life in some way. And because grain farming ties in nicely with the Mesopotamian source imagery.

Admiral
Agreed; a good comparison would be Mordor - most people think it's all barren, volcanic wasteland because that's what's around Mount Doom and Barad-Dur, but about 2/3rds-3/4trs of Mordor (around the inland sea of Nurnen) is actually fertile farmland tended by legions of slaves. Considering the Dark Lands are very likely inspired by Mordor, it's only fitting that it too has it's own arable lands.

As an addendum to my previous post, I think it's likely that the food for slaves and the lesser dwarfs would be relatively bland tasting due to a limit on the available farmland set aside for spices - it's far better/more economic to concentrate on keeping the slaves and dwarfs well fed than it is making the food tasty and without conquering it, there's only so much that can come from Ind (which is probably the premier, if not sole, source for spices in the Warhammer world).