[Archive] StuperPowers. I need the world's dumbest/strangest super powers


A while back I got this game for free!

It’s a nice beer and pretzels game. I wrote up a program in C++ to randomly generate powers. I figure, the greater variety the better. Plus I can always write up an extra output/input to only pay attention to the first (input) powers (as the first 50 or so are from the book itself).

However, how does this concern you? I want you to think up the world’s dumbest, most insane, goofiest, perverted, or otherwise seemingly rarely useful “Super Powers” you can imagine. The players will all be adults, so anything goes so long as you can say so on this forum (for really questionable ideas PM me).

So now is the time to get those creative juices (only creative juices?) going!

Let’s see what insane things you can come up with.

Da Crusha:

ability to immediately see in red.
ability to grow 3" hair rapidly all over the body.
ability to change coke to pepsi/ 7-up to sprite and back.
turn into an armadillo
yeah I like these ones lol. Ill try to think of more.

Tarrakk Blackhand:

Abillity to inflict pimples upon the enemy.

Ability to cast bananna peels from your fingertips.

Ability to inflate car tires from your mouth.

Ability to bend copper pennies using your mind.

Ability to listen to a MP-3/CD/Tape Cassette/Micro Cassette/Reel-to-Reel/Record/Edison Cylander just by touching it.

Ability to memorize books just by touching them.

Ability to program in Machine Language, DOS, and Apple Basic. (Yeah, I’m an old dude!)

Hashut’s Blessing:

The ability to know that someone, somewhere, is happy.

The ability to transform into a toilet at will. (but not back again :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: )

The ability to remember anything (but you forget everything else).

The ability to open tins with your teeth.

The ability to change reality at will, but only for a single rabbit.


The ability to melt stuff with you tongue. But you have to lick it lol.

The ability to instantly make people sick, but you have to sneeze on them.

The ability to make people fart by coughing. Yeah, that’s an extremely weird one.


the ability to fly by farts

the ability to crawl wall with your nose hairs

the ability to talk to flowers

the ability to dance like a robot


Ability to make everything you cook taste like chicken


the ability to turn wine into water

the ability to pick up girls


The ability to commit suicide at ANY given moment.

Hashut’s Blessing:

The ability to turn jelly into jam.

The ability to teach Americans English English ^^


ability to sing like a 2 year old kid.

ability to count to 1,2, 5! ehm no, 3!

ability to summon the holy handgranate, but not knowing how to use it.

ability to eat Hambo when he is bothering vegetarians

ability to sit in midair.

ability to draw a perfect circle

ability to shoot lasers with your toes.

ability to fish with 5 rods at the same time, but you can only hold them all in one hand.

ability to summon the crack suicide squad (That showed 'm!)


the ability to be invisible, but only when your alone.

the ability to absorb dumbness from the poeple around you.

the ability to know things that nobody realy cares about.


the ability to get drunk from drinking water (thats a cheap one)

the ability to take the bubble out of any fizzy drink.

the ability to make calls without a mobile phone (but it only works from your moms house who has a land line)

the ability to watch grass grow.

the ability to change a light bulb (but you need at least 2 of you)

the ability to not get frustrated while standing in line for to long.

the ability to guess someones age when seeing their passport.

the ability to cross the road like a chicken.

the ability to cry about spilled milk.


Ability to levitate one inch off the ground.

Ability to summon all the three legged dogs within a square mile.

Ability to use Axe deodorant and get the same effect on women that the guys do in the commercials.


the abbility to do something awesome that would make you famous but only when no ones watching.

the abillty to make rice krispies with your mind

the abillity to turn into a cheesepuff.

the abillity to play lotr


The ability to believe that every new law is against the constitution

The ability to only see the downsides of everything

The ability to know about every conspiracy ever, but no one will ever believe you if you told them


the ability to do everything you want when you are a sleep

Hashut’s Blessing:

The power of dreaming when awake.

The power to imagine any fantasy you wish for.

The power to explain any thought perfectly, but only in a language that people don’t understand.