[Archive] The Slapdash Carpenter and the Apprentice, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr


[align=center]The Slapdash Carpenter and the Apprentice, by Uhr-Kulmbizharr[/align]

Once upon a time, there was a slapdash carpenter. Everyone knew him to always work in a haste and rush through his labour. He completed in speed what others perfected in accuracy. He guessed and he fumbled and he supposed, and never knew he something for sure before embarking upon a task. One day, the slapdash carpenter worked on a common brick dwelling. He clambered up among the roof beams of the building to fasten wickerwork and planks in preparation for the fireproof stamped earth layer, when suddenly his apprentice called out:

“Master, the house shall have an open courtyard!” shouted the apprentice.

“I knew that,” lied the slapdash carpenter and produced a piece of chalk. He quickly drew a line at will on a sturdy beam, and grabbed his saw, when suddenly his apprentice called out:

“Master, that’s wrong! To measure is to know, everything else is a wild guess. Just look at the place you’ve marked out!” shouted the apprentice.

“Shut up! There’s nothing wrong with my experienced estimation!” snapped the slapdash carpenter and sawed off his own leg. For such is the fate of the hasty.

- The Slapdash Carpenter and the Apprentice, by Daemonsmith Uhr-Kulmbizharr the Blind, the renowned Chaos Dwarf author of fable stories during the foundation of Zharr-Naggrund*


* A common variant of this story ends instead with the carpenter sawing off the beam he is sitting on, dropping him to the ground and breaking his neck.

Fuggit Khan:

Hahaha! I loved it <3

Fables coupled with dark humor are always some of the best stuff to read :hat off


Ditto what Da Khan said. My reaction exactly


Thanks a lot, gentlemen! :hat off

A friend of mine insisted that this was a bad apple spoiling the whole bunch of fables, since the carpenter should feel the bite of the saw. But fable stories need not be that adherent to realism, and I’ve got to admit that this must be the first story which I laughed and laughed some more at as I wrote the end. Nice to see you like it!


By Hashut! We’re currently repairing and restoring the entry facade at my mother’s house, and not least having to fix the slapdash work results of a Norwegian carpenter who installed a door here last year, to mum’s grief.

I came to think of this fable for some reason… :smiley:


Ha! Excellent!

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