Tucked into the far corner of the East Neuk of Fife (Scotland) our gaming club largely plays Warhammer fantasy battles 8th edition and whatever the going edition of 40K is, mixed in with a little bit of Frostgrave, Blood Bowl and a few other things. I have only really picked up this hobby in the last two years, but, as I’ve gotten to know the guys in the club, and as I realized that my own childhood was touched by Games Workshop in the form of HeroQuest, I’ve gotten more and more curious about the nostalgia for the 1990s Warhammer. More than a few of the guys in the club have been playing Warhammer since they were 12 or 13 years old. Late last year in one of our crew, Steve, and I decided to see if we could resurrect the Fourth Edition game and so we agreed not only to the rules the army books, but, if we thought it was a goer then we would slowly paint up 4th ed armies and pull together a pretty cool campaign. After looking at the rules, and after realizing that Steve had everything from his childhood still in boxes(!!!), we decided to kick it off. So Steve chose to go with High Elves straight out of the box, and I chose to pursue Chaos Dwarfs for something completely different – I loved the cartoony look of the 1994/5 line and I wanted to challenge myself to paint in a different style. I also meant I could play Chorfs in both and 4th edition and also eventually 8th edition.
For the past month and a half we’ve been working on our armies and drawing up the start of a campaign and herein lies the tale of the most powerful hat in Warhammer world.
It has long been known across the Old World that the High Elves of Ulthuan wear some of the finest armour and the richest garments known to all. Bright in colour, crisp and rich and full of lightness that only the High Elves can obtain. The armies of Ulthuan march about resplendent in colour with high helms, gleaming swords and colourful feathers.
However, far to the east of the World’s Edge Mountains, across the Blasted Wastes lies a race that is covetous, jealous and full of rage … and particularly proud of their large and splendid hats. The Chaos Dwarfs of Zharr Naggrund have long been whispered about in the Old World, with tales of these stubborn and evil foes marching into battles with hats taller than their bodies, armed to the teeth and full of bile and hatred. But it has been centuries since the inhabitants of the Dark Lands have been seen in the Old World and, although there’s been rumours that the new power rises in the east, none have really been seen west of Karaz-a-Karak.
Deep into the Blasted Wastes, at the feet of the Mountains of Mourn, in the Vale of Woe two brothers with their eyes set on control of the great tower of Zharr Naggrund, have chosen to embark on a quest to the Old World and beyond to arm themselves by conquest or otherwise the finest armour and arcane items outside of their borders. Zhur-GurGur (or, GuGu to his friends), a newly ascended Lord Sorcerer, and his younger brother Gur-NurNur (NuNu), a bullish warlord, gather their army (including their childhood friend, the be-helmeted giant Burr) have set their compass to the seas beyond the realm of man. Rumour of the helms of the knife-eared Elves of Ulthuan have reached the Vale of Woe, whispers of enchanted armour, imbued with magical powers, and eldritch and powerful weapons. The brothers covet this power like nothing else. For Lord GurGur is keen to ascend the tower of Zharr Naggrund, but to do so he will require not only prowess in battle, but also the finest hats known to the world. It is also rumoured that a halfling craftsmen of clothing and armour of the greatest calibre is currently in the benefit of the knife-ears, and it is Gur-NurNur’s plan to kidnap this craftsman and return him as a slave to the Vale of Woe.
So these dark dwarfs embarked on several ships to take their army across the seas of Chaos to find the homelands of the knife-eared elves, to seek their hats and to steal their power - and it is this background that we see our first battle.
Battle 1: The Shipwreck
Phase 1: nightfall
A flotilla of Chaos Dwarf ships lie off the coast of Ulthuan protected by the cover of darkness - no torches, no lights were left alight on the boats so that they might sneak closer and closer to the home of the knife-ears. Lord Gur-NurNur instructed his crew to sail his boat close to the shores to scouts where might be best to land the flotilla, however in doing so his hobgoblin captain ran the boat asunder and they were shipwrecked.
NurNur decided to send forth the remaining troops in a series of row boats or rafts made from the remnants of his boat, limited as they were, to scout the shore and to see what they could find.
The first phase of this battle took place under the cover of night and focussed on one small battle on the far right hand side of the battlefield. Here, Elf Hero Lysander the Radiant resided in a small home, garrisoned with a troop of elf spearmen. The hobgoblins were able to make it ashore and to progress up to beach - we then randomised whether or not the unit of spear guards would have detected the hobgoblins or not.
The dice were in the hobgoblin’s favour and so they were able to position themselves perfectly for a sneaky rear charge. The high elf spear guard were caught unaware, even though they had the hero Lysander the Radiant, Blade of Asurian, lurking in their company. The sneaky gits caught the elves in a rear charge and won combat easily with poison daggers, routing the elves. As they fled down the road, Lysander broke off from the group and headed towards the watchtower at the centre of the field, as the goblins made quick work of the fleeing troops.
Phase 2: Dawn breaks
Lord NurNur having seen the signal from the hobgoblins landed the rest of his onto the beaches of Ulthuan. A small landing party comprised of two units of 6 hobgoblin archers and a unit of 12 chaos dwarf blunderbusses landed at the same time as the wreckage of an earthshaker cannon that had unfortunately fallen to bits. The sneaky gits marched down the road to welcome their brethren and masters ashore.
As the gits roamed across the battlefield, Lysander raised the alarm awaking the outskirts of the city of Ael’darion do the west as dawn broke and the raiding party’s full strength was revealed. Lysander joined a unit of elven archers in the watchtower, and Ael’darion’s archery guard, a unit of 8 longbows, provided some much needed support and harassing that would keep the battle alive.
The rest of this battle was dictated by turns in which the earthshaker cannon was assembled: each turn another piece of the cannon was put on to the carriage (so, four wheels and then eventually the cannon barrel) and on the fifth turn it could actually fire. However, to add some further randomization to this, the high elves had cavalry support which could potentially come onto the beachhead as a roaming guard unit, but had to be rolled from the start of the cannon turn four to determine whether or not they would come on like ambushers (unfortunately, as you will see, the dice rolls were not in their favour).
The raid commenced as the sneaky gits darted across the battlefield towards the elven settlement. The archers fired upon the hobgoblin archers on the clifftop, sending them into a panic, and Lysander’s archers tried their best to wound Lord NurNur, but managed to only get arrows stuck into his massive hat.
The unit of sneaky gits continued to dash across the field to harass the elven settlement. The clever high elf archers could see that they were easily outnumbered, and so decided to hop a wall and head down towards the beach to see if they could cause a threat to the landing party and outrun the green skin threat. Meanwhile, the blunderbuss crew marched up the beach towards the watchtower knowing that the high elf hero was inside and Lord NurNur called towards the tower shouting at the elves, but also engraged because his mighty Great Taurus was on another boat and he despised marching into battle on his feet.
The high elf archers continued their trek down towards the beach while tower guard peppered the second unit of hobgoblin archers, sending them, too, into a panic and causing them to jump over to the cliffs. The sneaky gits repositioned themselves towards the archers making their way towards the beach and a beautiful animosity role of a 1 and then a 6 (!) it meant that they got an extra move and were within charging distance of their prey. After a brief combat, the archers fled into the ocean, bringing the hobgoblins back down to the beachhead and eventually able to move into support position behind the earthshaker cannon.
By turn 5 the high elves still hadn’t been able to make their ambush roll (first on a 5 or a 6, then on 4, 5 or 6) and so the earthshaker cannon was able to get off its first shot fired against the tower. By this time, Lord NurNur had marched around the tower and had called out Lyander the Radiant to battle, wishing to show him the might of the chaos dwarfs! Lysander fell in combat against the mighty Black Hammer of Hashut. The second earthshaker shot actually landed directly on top of the Lord who had progressed to the tower’s door, peeling off one wound and sending him into an outrage.
Meanwhile a unit of Ellyrian Reaver beach guard finally made their way onto the beach and strode towards the intruders.
The earthshaker cannon turned towards their charge and managed to get off direct hit an inch in front of the cavalry, killing two reavers. But, it was the “earth shake!” effect which turned the battle, stalling a charge and allowing the blunderbusses to manouvre into a supporting position for an eventual flank counter-charge. Back at the tower, NurNur battled it out with the archers, routing them after two rounds of combat (and a few more arrows stuck in his hat).
Finally the high elf cavalry, or what was left of them, managed to get the charge in to the earthshaker crew and in the first round to combat peeled off one of the crew. But, it wasn’t enough to turn the battle and eventually the blunderbusses managed to get a flank charge and rout the high elves.
And so the chaos dwarfs won the first stage in the Battle of the Hats. Lord Gur-NurNur has secured the beach landing for the rest of the flotilla of Chaos Dwarfs and time will tell now what happens on the shoulders the Eastern shores of.
Our next battle will see the map progress to it more inland and scroll forward towards the city of Ael’darion …
