Howdy folks! @Oxymandias over on Discord got it into his head to write up a statline with special rules for himself. I hopped on the bandwagon, and we hope you too will do so with tongue in cheek (make stat for whatever wargame you prefer). Let loose your self-deprecating humour! So here goes:
Cost: 13 points
Troop Type: Core, Infantry (small)
Special Rules: Stubborn, Stupid, Hatred: Housework, Bureaucracy. Fear: Dogs. Flammable
Special Rule: Sculpting While in Car. May not attack in the opponent’s turn after marching.
Special Rule: Skis. Can only ski downslope. Double the movement allowance to 6 inches when going downhill. Roll a D6 if skiing downhill: On a 1, the unit falls over after 3" and take a S2 wound with no saves of any kind allowed. When charging downhill, gain x3 charge range (i.e. 9 inches).
Special Rule: Yodel of Doom: Counts as a magical instrument and costs an extra 25 points. When charging downhill, gain Frenzy.
Special Rule: Like A Boot From A Clear Sky. Toughness is reduced to 0 against attack type Flying Footwear (including Foot of Gork).
Special Rule: Slave. May use the leadership of any nearby unit within 6".
Special Rule: Dumb Luck. The unit have Ward Save 6+
Save: None. May purchase Computer Chassi & Car Rubber Mat Armour With Broom On A Motorcycle Helmet & Thin Plate Shield for 10 points to gain SV 5+ (hand weapon and shield)
Thanks for the template @Admiral !!
Cost: 15 points
Troop Type: Core, Infantry (painfully average)
Special Rules: Always Strikes Last, Strider: Shallow Water. Hatred: Dirty Dishes, Lost Items. Fear: Birds, Drowning, Stinging Insects
Special Rule: Fosching. When rolling to determine charge range, if the result includes any 6’s, the unit may not move or be moved under any circumstances until the end of the next turn.
Special Rule: Ahoy Mateys! Roll xD6 equal to the number of entities of any Infantry unit that flees from combat against a unit with this special rule. For each result of 6+ remove an entity from the fleeing unit and add it to a friendly unit of type Infantry. If the fleeing unit bears any nautical iconography these rolls succeed on a result of 2+.
Special Rule: Face Curtain. When this unit is targeted by any spell from the Lore of Heavens the caster may re-roll the result of one power die.
Equipment: Bo Staffs of Shin-Smacking. At the initiation of combat unit may elect to use either the 1-pound or 2-pound Bo. The 2-pound Bo provides a +2 strength modifier but when rolling to wound for each result of 1 the unit takes one S3 hit, saves allowed.
LD: 1 (or 9 if this unit has spent a turn Fosching)
Save: None. May purchase: Lost and found shin-guards of questionable durability for 2 pts to gain SV 6+, may be upgraded with purchase of spare duct tape and cardboard for 10 additional pts to gain SV 5+
Here we go @Admiral - codex creep is real. I’m on my second edition and I’ve got more rules and equipment! Haha
Points cost: 12pts
Troop type: Core (like really common. Listen to his accent on the podcast) infantry
Special rules: Hatred: adult responsibility
Special rules: Screaming toddler. Jac is always ( like
Seriously always) accompanied with a screaming two year old. This is a purely decorative model. The screaming toddler confers an additional attack in close combat. Resolve this attack as if the opponent has been hit by a troll vomit attack. However, the player controlling Jac must roll a dice at the start of each turn. On the roll of a 6 Jac is changing a nappy and cannot be activated.
Special Rule: won’t play against grey. Jac refuses to play with or against unpainted miniatures. Upon the battlefield he physically cannot see them let alone interact with them. They simply don’t exist. Jac can never be used in an army that includes unpainted models. When playing against unpainted models they cannot target Jac with ranged weapons and cannot charge Jac. Likewise Jac cannot attack them. He can move through them as if they were not there providing he finished his movement not in base combat with the unpainted model. If your opponent thinks this is unfair he or she should paint their bloody models.
M: 4”(12” when moving away from enemies)
BS (ballistic skill): 1
BS (bullshit) 10
SV 6+ (5+ when equipped with lockdown beer belly)
Equipment: Jac is armed with his daughter’s “hey duggee” bag. This counts as a hand weapon.
May purchase a lockdown beer belly for 3pts
May purchase a Dalmatian warhound for 5pts, changing the unit into a cavalry, conferring a movement of 8” and gaining the special rule stupidity.