The Rising Star [Scribe's Contest XIII April 2022]


“Ooh that had to hurt, going after a minotaur like that, takes a strong combination of guts and brain damage.”

“You said it Gnarls, and with that, that’s the end of the first half. I’m Killem Burntheart, this is Gnarls Daemos, and we are joined today by Blood Bowl legend, John Madman. What did you think of that first half, John?”


“Thanks John. With the score tied at 1 touchdown apiece, we turn to our in the field reporter Trashy Wolfrider with a surprising star in the making, um, some random hobgoblin. Trashy, how is it down there?”

“Well this is where the balls are, and all of the equipment down here works, unlike up in the booth.”

“Holy Cow! Usually in Blood Bowl you want to keep the murders on the pitch.”

“Wait John did you just say something other than Blood Bowl?”


“Looks like John has jumped into the stands and is picking fights with some orcs. Hope this stadium has fire insurance. Back to you Trashy.”

“Good evening folks, I am here with Grendell Grievous. In this season you have scored a record 30 touchdowns, and caused almost as many casualties. Some say you turned your back on the big hatted bull, and went to the big horned rat, with the evidence being that your armour has a 13 on it. How do you respond?”

“What? No, that’s just the number I was assigned. The only god type thing that matters in this game is Nuffle. No, my success can be attributed to my hatred for all other races, good luck and bad coaching.”

“Bad coaching? Coach Hewer is a legend though.”

“The coach is literally an old goblin hewer with the head of a sorcerer that turned to stone, that tosses axes with “helpful” suggestions such as give the ball to the centaur, always go for the foul, and if tou get caught fouling, don’t tell on Coach Hewer. The only good that Coach Hewer has done this game is retain some of his original function and has already put an axe into the skull of a few of their filthy goblins, so we’re up a player."

“If you win this game, with the season you’re having, you will have your pick of any team, who do you think you’ll be playing for next season?”

“If all goes well in this game, I will probably be changing my name to something like um, Kahnish Kahn? Yeah something, and then opening a greasy spoon restaurant and smoke shop called the Hash Hut, mostly serving minced bull meat and whatever the halfling scum smoke.”

“Well good luck out there, we’re all rooting for you. It sounds like the second half is about to begin. Back to you Gnarls.”

“Welcome back to the Second half. Here’s the kick off and… Oooh number 13 Grendell Grevious just took a chainsaw to the neck. Looks like a centaur from his own team has confused his head for the ball. The centaur is running it into the end zone. An axe with some money on it is headed toward the ref, he picks it up, he’s made the call, it’s good… TOUCH DOWN!”


Thoroughly enjoyed this!

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Blood Bowl to the hilt, loved it!

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Yours was my favorite entry!

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