MadHatter:
Greetings brethren,
This is the thread for Chaos Dwarf cooking!
Hashutmas Schnapfs - Spiced Alcohol (X-mas special)
Aleboiled Simpleton - Sunday steak, Healthy
Khan Ration - Weightloss, Training, Budget.
Slavemeat Ziggurat - Dinnerparty.
K’daai Tounge-burners - Budget, Weightgain, Snack.
Magmasoup - Weightloss, Budget. (This post)
…
Magmasoup
I have something very special to share with you tonight, however a word of warning before we proceed, I named this dish magmasoup partly because it’s thick and reddishly orange and partly because it’s hellishly hot.
Cooking time: 5-6 hours
1x 5 litre (1,3 gallon) kettle
1x rustic soup ladle
1x large wooden stirring spoon
15-20 large unpeeled Potatoes
5 large unpeeled Carrots
5 large Onions
1/2 Leek
5 thick and spicy Sausages
Half a cup of Olive Oil
12 Garlic cloves
1 cube of vegetable stock
3 cubes of beef stock
Salt
1 bottle of Tabasco Brand Habanero Sauce
TABASCO® Brand Habanero Sauce | Hot Sauce | TABASCO® Brand
Step 1
Have your slaves rinse and brush the potatoes and carrots, you want to keep the peel on for fibres, vitamins and an overall dwarfy rusticness. Then have them chop it all into pieces, you want to fill 2/3 of the kettle with potato and carrot pieces before pouring over the water. Salt it up and bring to a boil, then let it boil on medium heat for 20-30 minutes.
Step 2
Chop the onions, leek, garlic cloves and sausages in the meantime.
Step 3
When the carrots and taters are soft and mashable pour off the water and mash it down right there in the kettle with a fork (this is rather steamy work so make sure not to burn yourself). Add the chopped onion, leek, garlic and sausages, this should almost fill the kettle. Add the olive oil and then fill that kettle up with water and stir it all around until the mashed potatoes dissolve, everything is mixed and you got a thick pastey soup. Add salt, the cubes of vegetable and beef stock then pour the whole bottle of habanero sauce in there, rinse out the glass bottle with water and pour that in there aswell.
Step 4
Let the magmasoup boil on low heat for 4-5 hours, go and stir now and then so it doesn’t burn.
Serve with fine ale
Voila!
…
For those that can stomach it magmasoup has proven great for loosing a few pounds (it hurts so you really don’t eat more than you have to), staying on budget, cooking food for a few days at a time aswell as being healthy and nourishing. It contains Protein, Fiber, Carbonhydrates, Vitamin A, Vitamin B (B1, B2, B6), Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, Iron, Zink, Magnesium, Fosfor, Natrium, Folat, Kalcium, Selen, etc. etc.
Bloodbeard:
You Hatter - eating dinner ain’t supposed to be painfull!
Thanks for the recipe. Havn’t seen dawi zharr food before.
Admiral:
Haha, this is ingenious. Tack!
MadHatter:
Glad you liked it, it’s actually really good, let me know if you try it out!
:hat off
thewizardofoz:
Never thought of Chaos Dwarfs having Dinner Parties before but this is definitely what they would serve.
Well Done that Man!
P.S. What would desert be?
Admiral:
Raw slave blood and slave flesh for desert, perhaps?
MadHatter:
Raw slave blood and slave flesh for desert, perhaps?
Admiral
Haha brutal! We could mix that up with snow from the Mountains of Mourn to make a protein-rich sherbet ;)
MadHatter:
K’daai Tounge-burners
Cooking time: 30 minutes
You need:
1 loaf of soft white bread
1 bottle of some devilish hot sauce (Tabasco brand Habanero sauce here as always!)
1 bottle of smashed tomatoes
1 packet of danish pre-sliced garlic chorizo (I used GOL, inferior sliced hot sausage can probably also be used with some satisfaction)
1 bag of pre-grated nacho cheese
1. Order the clans daemonsmith to fire up the dark furnaces and keep them burning at exactly 175 degrees celcius.
2. Slice up the loaf of white bread with your dagger of malice.
3. Torture the smashed tomatoes with the hot sauce until it yields and gives up it’s secrets.
4. Tame the white bread with the smashed-tomatoes/hot sauce while reciting prayers to the Dark Father.
5. Sacrifice the danish chorizo as part of the binding ritual, two on each slice of bread.
6. Sprinkle generously with nacho cheese over the bread.
7. Boil in the furnace for 15-25 minutes.
Voila, your K’daai Tounge-burners are ready!
Admiral:
They sure look more edible than the K’daai miniatures, that’s for sure. 
That got me hungry. I’ll have to try this recipe out later on.
Bloodbeard:
Can’t really go wrong with chorizo and melted cheddar. I’m am curious though.
As a dane I think the the sausauge is an overlook meat - so much more than just “pig in own guts” (pretty nasty defilement, putting an animal up it’s own behind).
Anyways. I can’t recall that sausage from Gøl. Maybe just i sweeden?
MadHatter:
Can't really go wrong with chorizo and melted cheddar. I'm am curious though.
As a dane I think the the sausauge is an overlook meat - so much more than just "pig in own guts" (pretty nasty defilement, putting an animal up it's own behind).
Anyways. I can't recall that sausage from Gøl. Maybe just i sweeden?
Bloodbeard
This was the one I used: http://www.mathem.se/varor/chorizo-palagg/chorizo-salami-skivad-150g-gol-polser
Ah, I love high-quality sausage, the "pig-in-it's-own-guts" well, I guess it adds character to the dish, should have thought about that when writing the recipe for the K'daai Tounge-burners. Anyhow, yeah, sausage... Simply the best with all the spices, smoke and stuff. Whenever I'm in Copenhagen I always bring home danish sausage. It's simply the best, and its alot cheaper in Denmark than here. Germany can't even come close and they're second on the great sausage list.
MadHatter:
I'm actually debating with some workmates about your Magmasoup.
We all think it sounds very tasty. A bit hot perhaps but tasty.
Maybe I go for it at the weekend. Maybe a bit less spiced.
Herby
I'm flattered! Yeah just go easier on the hotsauce and it should be alright :) boiling the potatoes back to the atom level is a great way to get it creamy without having to add any meal or maizena! Please let me know what you thought if making it!
MadHatter:
Slavemeat Ziggurat
This is a little something for when you have 4-8 dinnerguests to flay…
The Rocket-battery Arsenal:
You need:
1 bottle of Bull’s-Eye Hickory BBQ Sauce
1 bottle of Hotsauce (Da Bomb - Beyond Insanity, 136.000 scolvilles)
1 green, 1 red and 1 yellow paprika
1 leek
1 kilogram of mixed grinded slave-meat
olive oil
wheat flour
sugar
yeast
1) Start frying the slave-meat on low heat. Stir the meat now and then
2) Make a dough with of wheat flour, yeast, warm water and sugar (boost the yeast-process Zharr-Naggrund style). Sprinke some flour on it, put it in a bowl, put a towel over. I didn’t use a recipe but I’ve had a few drinks and it worked anyway. Put a timer on 20 minutes.
3. Hack the leek and paprika, mix it raw with the well-done meat in a bowl. Pour in the whole bottle of Bull’s Eye BBQ sauce and then nuke it with the hot sauce to viking-bastardization-level. Now the trick here is that these raw vegetables will only boil in the pie, and remain crisp. Stir it throughly so the hickory gets in there. Nice.
4. When the timer rings take the dough and with the Lore of Hashut carve a Ziggurat-city out of black obsidia… ehh… make a floor and walls in the ovenware bowl-thing, save a piece for the roof. Get the filling in there, smack the roof on and shove it into the furnace for 25 minutes, 175 degrees celcius.
Voila! Your Slavemeat Ziggurat is done. Serve with redbull vodka for extra Hashut. :hashut
Bloodbeard:
Voila! Your Slavemeat Ziggurat is done. Serve with redbull vodka for extra Hashut. :hashut
MadHatter
How you swede manage to pay rent and have that kind of drinks is beyond me.
MadHatter:
Voila! Your Slavemeat Ziggurat is done. Serve with redbull vodka for extra Hashut. :hashut
MadHatter
How you swede manage to pay rent and have that kind of drinks is beyond me.
Bloodbeard
We prioritize our drinking in the beginning of the month, damaging the quality of our meals at months end.
Admiral:
Haha, it looks tasty, though expensive. Me and my brother would like to try it out someday, perhaps with less fiery ingredients… 
Fuggit Khan:
I’ve managed to convince my wife to try to cook this up tonight for dinner…but she insists on using her homemade Thai version of sriracha sauce :cheers
MadHatter:
I've managed to convince my wife to try to cook this up tonight for dinner...but she insists on using her homemade Thai version of sriracha sauce :cheers
Fuggit Khan
Sounds really good! Let me know what you thought, wise wife because this stuff will go really well with thai I think :cheers
MadHatter:
Haha, it looks tasty, though expensive. Me and my brother would like to try it out someday, perhaps with less fiery ingredients... ;)
Admiral
Let me know what you thought! The only expensive ingredient was the sauces. The greens and the meat was 100 crowns perhaps, the sauces 150, the hotsauce eating perhaps 100 of them, so 150 divided on 8 people? Its alright the few times I have guests :) the hotsauce has punished everyone today I hear wahaha!
MadHatter:
Khan Ration
Great budget food, great stomach filling, great taste, no calories, all the essentials, high protein and iron (good for loosing weight, great for training).
Cooking time: 30 minutes
You need:
1 kilo of spinach
1 kilo of minched elfmeat
3 cans of smashed tomatoes
olive oil
spices (garlic, paprica, hot sauce, salt, pepper)
Grease da pan with little oilz, add da elfmeat for da boyz.
Fry it til da meat iz done, all da blood steam’d up and gone.
Add da spinach hacked in bitz, makes us strong and full o’ witz.
Steer da tomateers round and round, after dat elf in 'em been drowned.
D’an add garlic paprica and salt, also da pepper, sauce and halt!
Boil dat elf for twenty-five, makes da boyz in Dark Lands thrive.
