Scribe's Contest XIII: Fouls and Fumbles - Blood Bowl Chaos Dwarfs

Being a rerun of Scribe’s Contest VII with higher word limit due to previous demand.

“Goooaaal! It’s a GOAL! A bloody, magnificient unparallelled goal! G-o-a-l-err-h! Did you see that, Ham?”
“Sure did, Krogg. Straight out of textbook.”
“Cheatnote, rather, by the look of those fans. They’re all jumping onto the pitch!”
“Hahaha, now look at that Hobgoblin run! Silly stuff. Ouch! One moment scoring, the next dead.”
“Well, so is Blood Bowl, Ham.”
“Indeed, Krogg! The fans have both teams surrounded, but why are the mobs attacking their own teams…?”
“Duck! Now they’re throwing Gnoblars!”
“There went the cheerleaders! Yuck!”
“It’s doom on the pitch today. Havoc! Bloody mayhem!”
“Sure is, Krogg.”
“Now the referee’s gone. In four different directions at once. Oooh, pretty nice quartering there by those Amazon fans!”
“For sure! An’ do you know what those curses and obscenities are? Those vomited from tusked mouths, like that sod’s blood ‘n’ guts spewed all over his curlybeard? D’you know what them acid words are, Krogg?”
“No, tell me, Ham!”
“Those are the last words of the players…”

This contest has been sponsored by @Abecedar , who gifted his previous prize to this competition! The gold winner will receive a €30 store coupon at Warcolours, courtesy of @warcolours :

And the silver winner will carry home an unpainted kit of Tjubbutaur Herd from @Tjub:

Whereas the bronze winner will win an unpainted Ewal Dvergr Centaur from @Zanko and @Clam !

While one lucky random participant will get an unpainted kit of Tjubling Hat Command from @Tjub and Admiralty Miniatures:

Subject Matter: Fouls and Fumbles - Blood Bowl Chaos Dwarfs
The theme for this writing competition is Chaos Dwarfs in Blood Bowl. This is an open format theme, meaning that almost any type of background text and fiction about Chaos Dwarfs, Hobgoblins and bloodsoaked fantasy football will be accepted, within the rules detailed below.

Your entry could consist of a novel-style story of pitch brawl; or a description of a team’s bloodsoaked career through a cup; or a veteran pitch survivor or fan retelling an exciting match; or the frenetic ramblings of match commentators; the apothecary’s butcher bill through a league with added notes; reporters interviewing hooligans for supporter’s quotes; or even an Old World/Age of Sigmar vision of an incomprehensible bloodsport glimpsed through feverish nightmares granted by Daemons in spite; or something else entirely. Give us your vision of some Chaos Dwarfs in Blood Bowl!

Writing Rules
The word limit for each entry is 30-500 words in total. Inventive ways to write entries are encouraged. Your entry may be split into several parts (e.g. two first-person perspective stories, or one gory match description, a coach quote and an apothecary’s bill).

All entries are to be written “in-universe”, meaning no lines about D6s or green stuff are allowed. See the General Rules.

You may of course write your story about Chaos Dwarf-equivalents in whatever fantasy football setting you fancy.

You are encouraged to ask Admiral about whether your entry meet the requirements or not, should you be unsure.

Please spellcheck your entry before submission. Even so, to help even the field for the non-native English speakers, Admiral may correct grammar and spelling mistakes within the limits of his grasp of the English language.

Inspiration Sources
Anything can be your inspiration, including your latest Blood Bowl game. Also, see the Guidelines, and Chaos Dwarf Stories & Background Section. (You are not allowed to copy someone else’s work!)

Please read the full rules and guidelines that apply to the Scribe’s Contest competition before submitting your entry!

Deadline: 11:59 PM 3rd of April 2022 EST (Eastern Standard Timezone)
Submit your entry by PM to the GoldenHat account and/or to chaosdwarfsonline ( at ) before the deadline. Entries will not be accepted after that date and time regardless of how cool your submission is. (You have about 2 weeks to complete your entry.)

If for some reason you are having trouble with your submission, contact one of the Staff before the deadline. In order to avoid problems, we strongly advise entrants not to wait until the very last minute to submit their entries… As things can and do go wrong at the last minute. Please do not send entries to individual Admin or Staff members to submit on your behalf as they may not check their PMs!

How to Enter
Write something regarding Chaos Dwarfs or Hobgoblins in Blood Bowl, invented by you, and send a PM to GoldenHat (a special user that all Staff have access to) containing the entry. The moderator organizing the contest will then check the inbox one or a few days before deadline and verify to each entrant that their submission was received.

If you win

  • Take your place in the upcoming Scribe’s Contest Hall of Fame (to be created), where your glory will be remembered for years to come.
  • Receive the Scribe’s Contest medal for your online persona:
  • Models in the prize pool!

Entries will count towards a participation medal, which is the simpler Scribe’s Contest equivalent of Artisan’s Contest and Golden Hat veteran medals.

As usual once all entries are received a voting thread will be created. If there are any questions please PM Admiral or post them here.

Subject Matter: Fouls and Fumbles - Blood Bowl Chaos Dwarfs
Deadline: 11:59 PM 3rd of April 2022 EST (Eastern Standard Timezone)

If any forum members would like to aid Scribe’s Contest by donating models or other materials as prizes for future competitions, feel free to contact Admiral to sort out the details.

Now, carve your tablet and open your ale. Load up the shout-voice and curl hands into fists. Sharpen your pen and dip it in player’s blood fresh off the pitch, for Hashut demands slogans and swearwords galore!

The Staff


Oh dang! I totally forgot about the scribe contests!
Ofc I did, I’m a fucking illiterate beast!

Next time swap it with a comic contest ahshhaha I might be enter that one XD
Good luck everyone!! :spoon:


Right, wasn’t 100% sure if I’d enter or not, but i just wrote a 495 word count draft that says i will…

Just iron out some details and were good to go!


A comic contest is a great idea! Well worth trying out later. :slight_smile:


I made my entrance by entering an entry!


I look forward to reading it!

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I have been summoned, and have left a little something before I descend to the wine dark seas…

Ahem…I mean, hoy there. It’s been a long while since I got a notification about one of these. I managed to throw something together. However, thirteen thousand apologies but starting from April I will be sailing on the open seas until the end of May. So not sure I will be around to give votes e.t.c. until after the compy.

Still, future me will be looking forward to it! :smiley:


Well, I’ve never played Blood Bowl, so I’m at a disadvantage for writing about it.
And I guess I’m a bad American because I don’t like football at all. My friends always joke that there’s two things that will prompt me to leave a party: vegetarian food and football.
That being said, I’ll definitely try to think of something to write, based on my complete ignorance of the subject.
:football: :thinking:


Me neither mate. Never played BB, know nothing about American footbal :person_shrugging:


Make it about a spectator who goes there watching a match for the 1st time and doesn’t understand a fuck but violence.
Easy peasy


This ^^^

or a surgeon having to fix the aftermath, a cheerleader who has the hots for a star player, Mascotte POV,… many funny options that have nothing to do with BB rule/fluff.


As rabbit holes go, Blood Bowl is not so bad. More of a burrow, really. You will be welcome!


Also for references

Calcio Fiorentino. Florence historical football

Laughing with my other Italian mates @Bassman @Fabelzel @KhamdrimSkyMaster


Will we be getting dramatic readings of the entries from the Brazen Broadcast crew??


That would be hilarious @Chitzkoi, @Oxymandias and @Reaver



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I’ll do ASMR readings


Whispered readings?

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Please no :hear_no_evil: this asmr-whisper stuff gives me the total creeps

Dramatic readings would be amazing! Only one week to go. Can’t wait to read all of the entries.